Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Randomania

This post is aptly titled Radomania because it is just that.. Random..
A few things that i must get off my chest, so that this week might progress accordingly.

Firstly
Is the Good Cameroonian, who i MUST now call the fucked Cameroonian. I find that despite having quite an agreeable dick, he in in fact suffering from acute mental retardation. How mutually exclusive those two are! I mean seriously, how can a 30 year old man lack so much tact? Eh! I mean the shit that he spews. I suppose, the highest was when the ignoramus asked that i lend him $500. The asshole must have thought, that his dick had impeded my rationale. Oh the look on his face, he was so sure I'd come through. But even i can see through my rants to ask the truly important question. How the fuck did i give this fucking imbecile the guts and the nerve to behave as such. Eh? I mean there must be something about my relations with him, that afforded him the confidence to approach me with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for money. It was just his arrogant confidence. Did he think he would dick his way into my bank account??? He was so surprised how quickly i recovered from my orgasm. He needs to fuck off. And find another bitch to stick his dick inside. Unlike Beyonce, i aint ready to be no Suga Mama.

Secondly
I have these two bitches at work, who for the past month have simply gone out of thier way to make my life miserable. At first, i was quite the coward. Smiling in the face of their overt insults and false gestures. But then Kiera snapped me out of it. "why do you take that shit from them'??? That was the sound slap i needed. Cause you best believe i woke up from that reverie of mine. I kinda like the response i got, when one of them called me to lecture me on some work that was never my responsibility to begin with. Quite bluntly i said, " If you will not communicate with me with respect, then i cannot talk with you." Kpom.. I hung up the phone. It was kind of scary but uplifting. Throughout, the day she could not look me in the eye. They must wonder, about my new found confidence. I try as much as possible to avoid unnecessary confrontation and to avoid their paths, but should the occasion arise I am so happy to know, that i can and definitely will bitch slap them to reality. Good riddance Heffers!

Thirdly
During a trip outta town i met this really hot guy called, Teric. Problem numero uno, he cannot string a cohesive English sentence. Which wouldn't be a problem. If i could string a cohesive french sentence. So i am back in town. And our phone conversation ranges from. "How you" Ca va? Are you good? good.....good.. soooooooo.. and you goood? OK! How work?.. The other day, we managed to expand the scope of our conversation, (much to my childish glee) to talk about his being the only child, and his negative opinion of marriage and the like. Being that his upbringing wasn't of the traditional kind, he is very much in opposition to the institution of marriage. Which quite frankly i cannot blame him.Another obstacle is that Teric comes after my experience with the Fucked Cameroonian, and the danger is that i might just be jumping from one sinking ship to another. But indeed There is something about Teric that i quite fancy. This quiet, unassuming confidence that he has, that strikes a chord within me. Ironically the language barrier may be working to his advantage, because i haven't had to endure the typical shenanigans that people spew when getting to know one another. Few days ago, he spoke about his desire to learn English so that he may know me better. I realise that this man may turn out to be the very devil incarnate, but i cherish those words for all they are worth (which is currently little). The simplicty of it charms me.. I do wish that we could communicate beyond the basics. I hope i am not shooting blanks here, but In my next life i must remember to pay attention during French Class. Until then i will have to settle with our limited talk. No matter how hollow and confining they may be:(

Friday, September 21, 2007

What is this i feel?

Hate
this vile unrepentant energy
that courses through my veins
Anguish
this nefarious understanding that i cannot have
what belongs to another
this realisation that i may only want it
because i can never have it
pain
this settling of despondency
in my heart
that threatens to rule me
hope
this awareness
that i know
thus i can change

Monday, September 17, 2007

Who Is Fucking Who?

yesternight, as i emerged from orgasmic bliss
in the arms of the good Cameroonian
a certain, emptiness surfaced
one which i rejected
my lust for the good Cameroonian dick
withers
me thinks its the repetitious fucking with no emotional connect
but i would loathe to admit such to myself
I realise that i could fuck him indefinitely
but something grows amiss.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Mr. Burly

My Dear Reflexxxions

How do you do? Oh my dear, i do hope that your stars are in alignment. Its been days since i have had the occasion to write to you. I am quite contrite and hope very much that all is well with you. Oh where to start! My current state of affairs leaves me with so much to narrate. Had it not been for my rather skewed relationship with God, i would have found more solace in meditation. But as such is the condition which i find myself, i must make do with writing this composition. First on my mind, is my recent dismissal of a certain burly man who had hitherto occupied the much "sought after" position of suitor or as i much prefer "wooer". my timely dismissal of Mr Burly was to have rid me of the rather undue stress that is caused when someone enters into an unjustifiable state of infatuation. Indeed i could hardly contain my annoyance when he went on a tirade about how i had without scruples destroyed his heart and existence. To hear him put it, he can never go on , as i was his "life". I wonder that Mr Burly should have allowed me such dominion over his person in just a matter of weeks. Indeed i find it rather ridiculous that a man of his age and status should expose himself so freely to another without caution. Nevertheless, to him i was perfect, and possessing of all the qualities that any reasonable man would desire. I blush to imagine myself to be of any perfection, especially being so cognitive of my numerous failings. But of course in the beginning i was much enamoured with Mr Burly as he seemed obsessively bent on securing my present and future happiness. He was quite unselfish in his efforts. I was congratulated by all the world at how prosperous i was in securing such a gentleman. Oh to remember how foolishly gleeful i had been. However with the passage of weeks, i was to be rather rattled at the severity of his likeness. Indeed it was no ordinary "like". He pronounced his undying love and affection for me. And i ridiculously succumbed to pressure and announced my own love, though i could not comprehend the significance of my words. That did not deter Mr Burly from premature elation at my pronouncement, i don't believe he cared very much for my meaning. It seemed that to have heard the words uttered to him was enough. My irritation with him was to be further increased when he insisted that he must know of my every whereabouts and that he must communicate with me at every hour except at my sleeping hours. Our relationship was perhaps more burdened by the distance as he lived 9 hrs away. While i consider myself to be of a compromising nature, i must say that i loathe any attempt by any to reign superior over me. It is important to note that Mr Burly who had been so possessing of numerous good traits and fundamental good spirits, became so bothersome to my very tranquility that i inwardly decided upon his immediate removal from his position of "suitor". To put my plans in motion was of great emotional exertion. I managed to do so, but not before i was subjected to a series of castigation's and cries. I was accused of unpardonable evil. Indeed he hoped that in future i was to experience the same pain i had so unrepentantly put him through. Had i any remaining misgivings in my heart about ending our relations, Mr Burly was to erase them completely with his condemnation of my character and his bad wishes . Indeed he made it so much easier for myself. Presently Mr Burly is no longer a part of my life. I still think him to be fundamentally of good repute and character. But his personality was so unbecoming to me. It is not enough for someone to be good , they must also be good for you. And you must fit each other. Regrettably such was not the case for Mr Burly and myself. Happy i am to report that Mr Burly, despite his conviction at the time of our demise that death was around the corner for him, is very much alive. Indeed i wonder why people make such ridiculous declarations. Do they hope to cause you enough guilt so that you may reconsider. I am as always so filled with questions. And to be sure they are such few real answers. Mon Dieu!!! My dear reflexxxions, it is quarter past the hour. I had not intended to write for this long. I am pleased to have forewarned you of the long narration. Indeed i must return to my work. I shall write again in due time. Do take care sweets.

Your's Truly
Oui C'est Moi

Friday, September 7, 2007

MY GOOD CAMERONIAN DICK

A sunday prayer to this good Cameroonian dick

that maketh my cup to runneth over.

It is true that one canst find all in one dick

but in this dick i find great endless pleasure

the gates of hell open each time he thursts into me,

for i shall not hold the HEAVENS responsible for the unatural grunts

that emanates from within my being

everytime he fucketh me

"Fuck Me"

And he does

ferociously

hitting it

he anticipates the rise and fall of my lithe body

he allows me to fuck him

to gyrate against him

and i do

with recckless eagerness

with wanton abandon

an OVATION to this good Cameroonian dick

it pains me so that i canst makes thy dick permanent

for it is not my pussy that posesses thee

elsewhere you belong

though time runneth against us

i shall fuck on

till we bid adieu

mon dieu!

My Good Cameroonian Dick.

Deluded innocence

a delusion so flowery in youth
enamored by a social implanted consciousness of "innocence "
i fancied myself a waif, a wreath without thorns
if you would please
and when that innocence was taken from whence it came,
i reacted as i was fashioned to,
with cries and imaginings of lost glory and such
self imposed trauma (that i was supposed to feel).
no longer whole (because i wasn't supposed to be)
he had taken something from me (as if he really had that power)
shame on me, for i had lost that Magical shit that
made me.. defined me once my mother was told i was me.
me being female and weak, an inanimate earthly entity of sorts
Would that i knew then what i know now
blind i was to the true reality
that, the shit was not me
I am me
I would have gladly skipped the woeful self pitying of deluded innocence lost