The White Dress And The Mad Man

Must make mental note never to wear white to an occasion again. I love white, but the shit gives me acute paranoia. This constant need to check myself to make sure that all is well, which involves frequenting the bath room. which in turn gives the impression that i must be suffering from diarrhea. This time around i was positive that my period would somehow disregard its regular cycle to attack me such that i would be covered with blood. But how could i pass on that dress. Having stolen it from my sister, i had been desperately looking for a place to wear it to, and yesterday's event was perfect. The compliments that i received, almost erases the mental torture...almost.. but not quite.
But one would think that the beautiful white dress with all its self inflicting nightmares was the signficant point of the evening. Between my regular visits to the washroom, another story was developed.
As i once again drew my now, tired friend outside, to air the white dress which had once again clung to my body due to heavy dancing, we were approached by a stranger.
A gentleman, who i swear must have been positively over the age of 50 (while i have a tendency to over exaggerate, i promise you that in this case i am in all earnest) approached my friend.
In fact Gentleman is too kind a term, .... perhaps madman is more suitable???....Indeed i shall call him madman!
Madman to friend, thick Nigerian accent and all "what is your name"
Friend "Olive"
At this point, i almost died of laughter. Of all the names she could have come up with.. OLIVE!!!!
madman to friend, "ok O-Leaf" he was of course oblivious that the joke was currently on him.
"O-Leaf, my dear i like you, and i want to get to know you. Give me ehhhhh.. your number"
At this point i had to interrupt him.
Me, "what's your name"
he replied "madman"
"madman", i said to him, "you should know that any self respecting man of your age, should talk to women within a specific age bracket. "O....leaf" is only 21 years of age, which by my calculations makes you old enough to be her father. Isnt that rather ridiculous."
madman was stunned.
i am positive he was thinking, who does this girl think she is.
He tried to rationalise with me. "if she is over 18 years of age, she is old enough"
Me, "for what, exactly? "
I could see the rage in madman's face. "This is the highest ..... eh... chei. Insult i have.... received in this Canada, and.. and ... and....by this little girl" . He sputtered. Visibly upset.
Interesting to note, that we were all of a sudden "little girls".
Anyways, the madman fled, but not before he announced to everyone and anyone who would hear him, that he had been really insulted.
friend to me, "am really glad i came with you, i wouldn't have known what to say to him. I usually just smile and ignore them"
Me to friend, "my dear, so did i but in a community as small as this, 2 minutes of your time, where they are seen talking to you is all they need to spread malicious gossip. I have decided that it is better to be misconstrued as rude than to have them claim sexual liaisons with me."
friend to me, "true"
we decided that we were going to have to sit this party out.